Ocd Overdrive
Ocd Overdrive
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So depressed in nursing school...does it ever get better?
My school sucks..and nursing school is overwhelming..it's been my calling since I was a little girl..but I'm so depressed and things don't look like they get any "nicer" from this point on. The environment seems so nasty, catty, hateful...so much backstabbing..abuse... I'm just in nursing school and the abuse is horrid. I've always been really nice, and I guess I was singled out and picked on by others because I'm an easy punching bag for them to take their hate out on. I just can't believe these type of people are going into nursing. I would never act that way.
Needless to say..I'm a year into this and feeling slightly burnt and depressed. I don't know what to do. On top of that..this career seems thankless..and I feel like we have so much to learn that I will never be perfect @. It's putting my OCD into overdrive. 
I'm sorry that you're having such a difficult time. The nursing (and mental health/social work) field is supposed to have a high burn-out rate and your situation may be compounded by your anxiety disorder known as ocd (obsessive-compulsive disorder). Please do yourself a favor and, at least, take a medical leave or regular leave of absence until you can get the ocd under control and figure out if you would like to stay in the field or not. The ocd symptoms are not going to get any better when under such stress 
I have ocd myself and take the ssri (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) anti-depressant, Prozac Weekly, the time-released prozac, 3x/week due to the ocd (as opposed to 1-2 times a week which is more standard for those with a clinical depression or generalized anxiety). I take seroquel (an anti-psychotic though you may already be aware) at nite to help with sleep (the ssri meds tend to cause insomnia) as well as the dopamine (neurotransmitter) in the brain which is also thought to be related in those with ocd.
Several years ago, I had received cognitive-behavioral therapy (cbt) and that included 'exposure therapy' and it really helped me. The cbt is particularly effective with rituals or compulsions such as handwashing, checking (such as the locks on the door), counting rituals or such. A clinical psychologist (Ph.D. or Psy.D.) or licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) may be able to administer cbt for those with anxiety disorders and hopefully the therapist has treated those with ocd 
For general information about ocd (though not for self-treating or self-diagnosing): http://www.ocfoundation.org
Some good books about ocd include, "Stop Obsessing!" by Edna Foa which details the process of cbt but should be used as an adjunct to actual therapy, and "Brainlock" by Jeffrey Schwartz, M.D. which provides steps to distract oneself from the thoughts or obsessions.
Please talk with a student advisor at your school and do consider taking a leave of absence to clear your head and deal with your other issues including the anxiety disorder. Please be well
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